Chocolates, my Nani and Suman are my favourites!
I cannot specifically give a name to my relationship with Suman. Some may call her a maid, while others a governess. But I would probably, and always do, say that she is more than a mother to my sister, brother and me and all those who come home. And my nani, well do not for a minute take her for a modern, hip lady wearing a bun on top of her head. No, she is as traditional and old-fashioned as can be.
I find that these two ladies have shaped me in my thinking, the way I am today. In many ways, if not all, I do find myself being drawn towards their approach to things that I would involve in. Of course, in no way can I compare myself with them, as I would be far from being like them at this stage.
Suman,
in nine-yard saris (which, even at the age of 57, she washes herself) and my nani in a typical Gujarati sari 
that is neatly starched, knot their hair - grey and golden respectively - at the back of their necks with a net and tend to celebrate all the festivals and functions that come their way. Somehow, I find that they both have a way with news and current affairs. Not that well aware, but their eyes drink in everything they see. They both could watch soap after soap on TV without confusing the characters in two different programmes.
In their lives, they have both seen a lot - some happiness and at the same time, a lot of hardships. Suman bore a son – who ran away during his childhood – and a daughter who is now a widow. She also lost her husband at a very young age. Despite her meagre resources, she tends to make sure to give her daughter all she can. On the other hand, my nani got married at an early age (typically in those days) and bore three children. She used to live in a joint family with a total of 14 people with a lot of socializing and hosting dinners and lunches. I guess till date, she can never forget those days when she’d be making more than 80 chappattis a day for everyone at home!
A typical behaviour that they both seem to convey is that wherever they go (nani at the park or a social function while Suman usually in the market area), they would have come out having made some good contacts and if we ran into those people after some time, they would usually remember them and ask about them. One of the things I just love about both of them is how neatly organised their wardrobe would be. Suman has a habit of putting together photographs of all of us and her cupboard would be covered with a collage of such collectibles. My nani has an amazing ability of tailoring and mending things, large and small. I only hope this is a genetic component I carry! She has a way of tracing relationships with almost anybody. If she was introduced to anyone from some suburb in Mumbai or even say, any of my friends, chances are she knew some relative of theirs! Some of my close friends would love to chat with her because she has a tendency to make them feel great.
Although I have not been able to spend as much time with my nani, I thank God for those months when she stayed with me as a typical grand-mother while my parents were away. I can never forget those days when she’d take out seeds from watermelon just so that I could eat them conveniently. While Suman, who has lived with us for almost 30 years, has now become an integral part of the family. The house can completely go haywire if she is not around. I remember when as kids we would get a limited amount of pocket-money and she would be our banker who would lend without expecting the amount back! Quite a funny thing I cannot forget about her is she tends to preserve smallest of things from food items to used wrappers to new gifts sent by guests. She thinks we might just empty out the chocolates or use them unnecessarily or give them away. I think it’s the possessive nature of hers than she cannot part with. During the last few years, they have both had a generous share of old-age illnesses that have made them weaker than usual. Despite that, they both can chatter away for hours and inquire about every single of our relatives and friends.
One of the qualities I see myself respecting in both of them is the unconditional giving that they engage in, in thought and deed. To this day, although my temperament can irritably get rude – especially to Suman who invariably makes hot milk for me in the afternoon after several warnings against it – I do wish that I could take my nani to the temple when she comes home to stay, or buy new glasses for Suman and take her out on drives at night to her brother’s home, or just give them both a tight hug for indirectly making me the person I am today. In short, they are both amazing women in their own right and share a legacy of their own!
