I recently came across an article in DNA on a list of questions that the writer - Dean Williams - has posed to its readers. Mundane? Not quite...these questions educe the very spirit of Mumbai and that of being a typical Mumbaiite:
Why is Dadar station always so crowded?
Why do Mumbaikars constantly berate the world's most efficient railway system…ours?
Why are city policemen obese?
Why do human rights groups never organise protests against skin-whitening ads?
Why are Mumbaikars so prejudiced?
What exactly does 'Indian Culture' entail?
If we hate the West's values, why do our kids want to be like Westerners?
Why do Indian parents mollycoddle their adult children?
Why do grown Indians allow themselves to be mollycoddled by their parents?
Why don't Indian kids move out of their parents' homes at 18?
Why isn't cannabis legal, but cigarettes, alcohol, paan, and gutkha are?
Are all these expensive new schools really going to churn out smarter students, or just richer idiots?
Why do we claim not to trust the media, yet buy more newspapers than any other country in the world?
Why do journalists consider all readers to be stupid?
Why do we wait eagerly for the rains, and then complain about them when they arrive?
Why are so many vegetarians cruel to animals?
Should we treat people who defecate on our streets any better than stray dogs?
Why are all our politicians so ugly?
Why do most of out Bollywood actors look like booze-sodden, unwashed pill-heads?
Why do we call our house-maids, servants?
Why do Mumbaikars naturally assume that any good-looking, successful woman is a slut?
Why are there so few good-looking, successful women in Mumbai?
Why do we claim that Marathi theatre is the best in the city, yet do so little to promote it?
Why do our entertainment stars give so little to charity?
Why is Ash married to Abhi?
Why do we keep buying cars and then complain about the traffic?
Why do activists want slum-dwellers rehabilitated, just not on their street?
Why is it that Mumbaikars deride any place beyond Borivali as being a village, without actually having been there?
Why do Mumbai men constantly fondle their genitals in public?
Why do Mumbai women scream at being touched, yet always seem to walk straight into you?
Why do Mumbaikars 'spit'? Is it a 'cultural' thing?
Why do Mumbai men claim to hate 'loose' foreign women, yet want to sleep with every one of them?
Why do we still feel inferior to the white man?
Why do most good rock bands in the city comprise musicians from the North East of the country?
Why has a Bollywood film never won an Oscar?
Why do the civic authorities demolish roadside shanties knowing fully well that they will be up again the next day?
Why do we always moan about taxis and rickshaws, yet are always waiting for one?
Why do taxi drivers never actually want to go anywhere?
Why do Mumbai men find fondling a woman against her will a 'manly' thing to do?
Why do Mumbaikars vent their anger against a traffic fatality by stoning the vehicle?
If you have the answers, email them to Mr. Williams at: w_dean@dnaindia.net
And while you do that, I too would attempt the same.
Why is Dadar station always so crowded?
Why do Mumbaikars constantly berate the world's most efficient railway system…ours?
Why are city policemen obese?
Why do human rights groups never organise protests against skin-whitening ads?
Why are Mumbaikars so prejudiced?
What exactly does 'Indian Culture' entail?
If we hate the West's values, why do our kids want to be like Westerners?
Why do Indian parents mollycoddle their adult children?
Why do grown Indians allow themselves to be mollycoddled by their parents?
Why don't Indian kids move out of their parents' homes at 18?
Why isn't cannabis legal, but cigarettes, alcohol, paan, and gutkha are?
Are all these expensive new schools really going to churn out smarter students, or just richer idiots?
Why do we claim not to trust the media, yet buy more newspapers than any other country in the world?
Why do journalists consider all readers to be stupid?
Why do we wait eagerly for the rains, and then complain about them when they arrive?
Why are so many vegetarians cruel to animals?
Should we treat people who defecate on our streets any better than stray dogs?
Why are all our politicians so ugly?
Why do most of out Bollywood actors look like booze-sodden, unwashed pill-heads?
Why do we call our house-maids, servants?
Why do Mumbaikars naturally assume that any good-looking, successful woman is a slut?
Why are there so few good-looking, successful women in Mumbai?
Why do we claim that Marathi theatre is the best in the city, yet do so little to promote it?
Why do our entertainment stars give so little to charity?
Why is Ash married to Abhi?
Why do we keep buying cars and then complain about the traffic?
Why do activists want slum-dwellers rehabilitated, just not on their street?
Why is it that Mumbaikars deride any place beyond Borivali as being a village, without actually having been there?
Why do Mumbai men constantly fondle their genitals in public?
Why do Mumbai women scream at being touched, yet always seem to walk straight into you?
Why do Mumbaikars 'spit'? Is it a 'cultural' thing?
Why do Mumbai men claim to hate 'loose' foreign women, yet want to sleep with every one of them?
Why do we still feel inferior to the white man?
Why do most good rock bands in the city comprise musicians from the North East of the country?
Why has a Bollywood film never won an Oscar?
Why do the civic authorities demolish roadside shanties knowing fully well that they will be up again the next day?
Why do we always moan about taxis and rickshaws, yet are always waiting for one?
Why do taxi drivers never actually want to go anywhere?
Why do Mumbai men find fondling a woman against her will a 'manly' thing to do?
Why do Mumbaikars vent their anger against a traffic fatality by stoning the vehicle?
If you have the answers, email them to Mr. Williams at: w_dean@dnaindia.net
And while you do that, I too would attempt the same.
